Becoming a Better Listener

In many marriages, miscommunication is a common thing.
Because NO one is listening.
“I am not so worried about what I said, I am more concerned about
what you heard.”
If we could just STOP for a moment and really listen,
miscommunication could be avoided.
When we are in a conversation most of the time we are thinking about
how we are going to response or thinking about a million other
different things.
“Whenever you find martial failure, you will find a breakdown in real
communication. Whenever you find marital success you will find a
good communication system.” -Wayne Mack-
I believe a great communicator is one who listens well.
How well do you listen?
You all know how Nike says, “Just Do It”
Well I Say, “Just Listen”
When you are listening well, you are bringing value to that person.
Everyone wants to be heard. Especially your spouse.
Here is a list of good habits to practice during conversations:
-Have Eye Contact
-Body Language-Lead In, smile, nod, encourage to continue
-Re-affirm what they are saying
-Do Not try and fix it
-Do Not have your phone around/any distraction
-Ask questions, instead of assuming
-Do Not interrupt
-Do Not change the subject
-Do Not Zone out
-Be present
You can apply these habits to any relationship.
Just some truths:
Listening is the highest form of Love.
The better you listen, the better they will listen to you.
A lost characteristic is the ability to defer. We need to put into
practice the art of deferring towards one another.
When you defer your own feelings, thoughts, emotions and opinions
during a conversation you allow the other person to express theirs
without any reservations.
We rarely defer because we are taught to take care of #1.
Be that person to really listened to what people are saying in your
presence. When they walk away knowing you heard what they had to
Everyone wants to be heard, including you!
We have become such a busy society, we are onto the next thing in a
matter of seconds. We’ve become so distracted with phones, social
media and technology. Just take note to how much time you give into these things.
Create those habits in your relationship. Unplug and become present to the moment.

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