WHERE DO I START - Transformation Is the Game Changer | Who You Are Isn’t Who You Have To Be

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Transformation is the game changer.

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This is the Q-Talk with Man Vs. Marriage.

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Quincy,

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how about you stay over the microphone

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this time and I get so excited.

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Okay?

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Is that working for you?

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Transformation in three, two, one.

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Transformation is the game changer.

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It's more than just adding a few

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disciplines.

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It's becoming something new.

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In my thirties,

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I was ten years into marriage.

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I had eight kids and weighed over three

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hundred and eighty pounds.

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I was a broken man.

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I was desperate for change,

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but I had no idea how to do

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it.

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You know what I was?

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I had become comfortably miserable.

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Does that sound familiar?

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Is that an aha moment for you?

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Then I took a course called Living Life

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by Design.

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When I finished my defining statement,

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It was simple, but it was powerful.

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It was this.

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It was, I am a new man.

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Listen,

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there has to be a beginning somewhere.

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And that course was my beginning.

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Transformation from the Greek word,

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it's called metamorpho.

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It's actually a verb.

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It is something that's in motion.

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It requires action from you.

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Here's what it addresses,

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and I've learned this for the longer and

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longer that I do this, sixteen years now.

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It addresses the inner man.

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It addresses his thoughts,

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what I call his operating system.

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Here's a fact.

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Discipline, over time with consistency,

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it will get you part of the way.

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It will help you develop who you are.

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But the truest transformation that I have

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found comes through my faith in Jesus

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Christ.

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And I want to share that with you

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today.

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This is not an episode that I want

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you to miss or that you should miss.

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This is man versus marriage.

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Transformation is the game changer.

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Where do I start?

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Right after this.

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Welcome back to another episode of Man Vs.

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Marriage.

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It is I, your humble servant,

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Quincy Moran, aka the cute dog.

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I'm in the Moran Family Studio.

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Today,

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we are talking about transformation.

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Listen to me.

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If you've got this far,

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here's what I'm asking you,

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whether you're religious or not,

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whether you are a man of faith or

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not,

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I'm asking you to have the courage to

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listen to this episode.

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What I'm going to share with you is

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more of what we've talked about in the

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past.

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This is testimonial.

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This is transformational talking.

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This is coming from the heart because

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what's different than a told story versus

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testimony is I bled for this rather than

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I just read this.

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What I'm talking about today is that third

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level,

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which is I read this and I bled

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this.

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And so that's why it is so powerful.

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That's why I have such a conviction

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because I want to share with you what

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true transformation looks like and how you

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get there.

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I'll do my absolute best to keep it

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as KISS principle as possible.

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Let's keep it super simple.

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And then I'll give you some practical ways

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to get that done.

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And so here are a few things that

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I've learned.

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And I wanna start off with this.

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I wanna reemphasize this is what I really

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should say.

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Every journey begins with the first step.

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That's when the actual journey begins.

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Now, you've gotta think about the journey.

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You've gotta count the cost of the

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journey.

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But it begins really when you take action

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upon something.

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So I think if you have looked at

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this episode, you have found it,

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maybe your wife sent it to you,

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there is a longing in you to relieve

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some kind of pressure.

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There's a longing in you to become the

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man you promised you would be.

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There's a longing in you that there has

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to be something more

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And that relates to your life,

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but also relates to your relationship and

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in your home.

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That's why we're here today.

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And I'm going to share that with you.

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My beginning started with building

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disciplines.

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And I love disciplines because you have to

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do the work.

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It's where you get the opportunity to

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become a man that you can count on.

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That was so big to me in the

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beginning because I was not a man that

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I could count on.

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I made promises to myself,

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but I did not deliver to a very

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high degree.

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So before I could go and ask,

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and this is not something I realized until

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later because I always wanted my wife to

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trust me.

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I wanted my wife to count on me.

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I wanted my kids to trust me.

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I wanted them to count on me.

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But if I couldn't trust me and count

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on me,

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then what business do I have to ask

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them to do it?

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Let that sink in on you because it

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had to sink in in my life.

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So in order to do that,

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what must you do?

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You must begin to make promises and keep

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those promises.

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And if you get really granular with

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yourself,

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I'm not talking about overcritical and

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ripping yourself down and looking at every

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step as if it's a failure.

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I'm asking you to get granular in the

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sense... Actually, let me step that back.

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Get very honest and transparent with

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yourself.

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If you...

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were to ask you to do something,

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would you follow through?

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Like pretend you're a guy who's on the

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outside, you come to you, like for me,

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all right, Quincy,

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here's what I need from you.

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Can I trust you to get this done?

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The man that I was, no.

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I would say the right thing,

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I would want to do the right thing,

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but I had a lack of follow through

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because I had broken so many promises to

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myself.

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So the goal is,

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To become a man that you would trust.

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Would you trust you?

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It is what I call building internal

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credibility.

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That you believe you can count on yourself

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no matter what.

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And that you will do everything you can

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to come through.

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If you don't have that,

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it's time to build it.

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So you have to make small promises to

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yourself.

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And you have to follow through with them

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in order to build it.

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And here's the truth.

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I'm thankful for those difficult days.

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I'm thankful for my failures, my losses,

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because they taught me a lot about myself.

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They located me so that I knew where

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I needed to develop.

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The thing about transformation is,

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is it addresses the inner man.

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It addresses the thoughts and the words,

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because how easy is it to say the

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right thing on the outside,

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but be a critical a-hole on the inside?

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Be talking so much mess about whomever it

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is that you're talking to on the inside.

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What is that quiet dialogue?

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So the inner man says,

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It addresses those thoughts, the words,

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his point of view,

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and what I like to call his operating

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system.

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That's the way that I had to break

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it down for myself.

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I want to change my operating system.

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I'm sick and tired of allowing people to

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set me off and have control over my

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attitude.

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I've got to get that fixed.

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I can't get it fixed until I'm somebody

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that I can trust.

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So discipline over time,

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executed with consistency,

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it can provide a level of transformation.

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But what kind of freedom do you want

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on the inside?

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What kind of connection?

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Do you want to live in liberty?

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Do you want to live according to what

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your purpose is here on this earth?

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Those are questions that you have to

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answer.

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I know for me, I did.

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I simply didn't know how to get there.

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And look,

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I gave my life to Christ when I

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was thirteen years old.

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What did that look like?

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I did not know.

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I didn't know.

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So for me, the truest,

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what I have found,

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And look,

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now it's been thirty five years since I

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gave my life to Christ.

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It's been sixteen years since I started

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this journey in becoming a new man.

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It's been twenty six plus years that I've

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been married.

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I've been a father going on twenty five

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years.

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So take what you will from what I'm

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about to tell you.

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The impact that Jesus Christ has had on

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my life.

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is second to none in my cosmos and

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there are things that i have learned that

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have built a stronger and more bullion

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connection with him in order that i can

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be transformed remember what i told you

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that Graham Cook said.

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This is one of those told stories.

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God's not interested in what you cannot

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do.

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He's interested in what you're willing to

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do.

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And I took that seriously.

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And now I'm living on the other side

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of, I bled for this.

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This is my testimony because I am willing

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to do these things.

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God, if you call me to them,

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I'm willing to do it.

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But there is a process to go through

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with that.

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So my transformation is rooted in Jesus.

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He is where the ultimate metamorphosis

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takes place.

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Some of it is instant.

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Most of it you have to put your

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time and energy into.

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And once it gets to a place and

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you surrender your ambition to his good

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and perfect will,

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transformation takes place.

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Now,

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please excuse me if you hear autism in

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the background.

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We're in quite a season,

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quite a challenging season.

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So if you can, continue on with me.

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Here are two things that I learned,

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and I have a spiritual mentor in my

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life, my cousin Shane.

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He really has taught me about the heart

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of God.

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He has taught me one of the main

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things that we can do,

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and you see it biblically as well.

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One of the main things we can do

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is ask God,

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where is your heart in this situation?

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We have God's word to read how he

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cultivated this life and these covenants

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historically.

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So God,

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where is your heart in this situation?

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And one of the questions in the Bible

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is, Lord,

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who am I and what am I to

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do according to your good and perfect

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will?

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For myself,

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I know that life is about seasons.

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The Bible talks about that.

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The world is formed with that.

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Your life goes in seasons as well,

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I am sure.

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I'm not sure if you've recognized that,

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but it comes and goes in seasons.

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And so there are seasons where you may

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not be able to connect with God like

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you normally do.

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I believe those times are when we are

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building our faith because who needs faith

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in the good times?

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Who needs faith while you're on top of

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the mountain?

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You might say I do, Quincy,

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because I'm afraid to hide some brother

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preach that message because a cute dog is

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the same.

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But I digress.

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So what is it?

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What is the principle that I built today?

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that got me disciplined through until I

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would get through those particular

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seasons.

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Because when those things are happening,

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you're getting closer and closer to

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transforming into the next leg of the

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journey.

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And what is that?

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It's during the tough times when you don't

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know what to do,

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you do what you know.

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And that is your faith-building season.

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And you ask God,

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Lord, where's your heart in this?

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And you sit and you listen.

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So even when you can't hear,

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you move forward.

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When you don't know what to do,

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you do what you know.

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And have faith that you are building more

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faith during the season.

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And then ask, Lord,

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who am I and what am I to

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do?

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Now,

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when you begin to get those answers...

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You begin this piece of your life or

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this transformation with discipline.

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We look at the Bible and we see

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the disciples or the apostles,

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they began with discipline.

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And then what did Jesus do?

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He transformed their life.

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So begin with discipline.

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That's where it starts.

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But as you build that discipline and you

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make these changes consistently and you do

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these things no matter how you feel,

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something begins to take place.

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And that's when I learned.

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It moves from – actually,

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it is in addition to, Lord,

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where is your heart in this situation?

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Because I believe he's faithful to teach

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you that.

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He's faithful to tell you that.

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And when you say, Lord,

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who am I and what am I to

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do?

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I believe he's faithful.

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If you spend time with him there,

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he's going to teach you.

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The next game changer for me came when

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I said, Lord,

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I surrender my ambition to your good and

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perfect will for my life.

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And what does that look like?

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That's something that he will reveal to

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you.

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When I opened that part of my heart

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and I tried to echo,

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I echoed what David said.

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It's like, search my heart, Lord.

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Renew a right spirit within me,

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but I want to open my heart.

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Whatever doesn't belong,

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I pray that you would help me release

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it because my ambition is to do your

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good and perfect will in order that I

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can go out and make the impact that

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Number one, in my family,

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which is my first ministry.

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And number two is in the marketplace where

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I'm out working and connecting the kingdom

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with God's people.

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You do realize that now you, as believers,

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you are the church.

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You are the tabernacle that carries the

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presence of God within you.

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So where you go,

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you take Him with you.

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What does that look like?

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What is the experience that you're

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creating for the people that are around

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you,

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for the people that come into contact with

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you?

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What is the quiet inner dialogue?

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It doesn't have to be perfect,

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but I shoot for excellence.

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That is my standard.

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And I want the dialogue on the inside.

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to match my actions and words on the

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outside that is what transformation is

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about where you can say what you mean

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and mean what you say it doesn't mean

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you don't have to work some things out

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it doesn't mean you don't get angry it

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doesn't mean you don't get frustrated it

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doesn't mean that you don't fail but what

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it means is you are subjecting yourself

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You're subjecting your life, your will,

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your purpose,

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your ambitions for what you were created

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to do.

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And I believe he created you for something

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great.

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Does that mean you'll stand on stage and

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speak to millions?

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I don't know,

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but you don't have to do that to

:: 17:28

be great.

:: 17:32

Think of the impact that you have on

:: 17:34

your family when you are loving,

:: 17:36

when you are leading,

:: 17:37

when you are nurturing them,

:: 17:38

when you have an outstanding connection

:: 17:41

with your wife and you're pouring

:: 17:44

mentorship and connection into your

:: 17:47

children and you are expanding your

:: 17:50

legacy.

:: 17:51

Like you're changing the path of your

:: 17:53

legacy.

:: 17:56

That outlives you for such a long time.

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And that is what is possible for you.

:: 18:07

So some of this comes by discipline.

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Some of this transformation comes by

:: 18:13

deliverance and by him setting you free.

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I'm going to give you a quick story.

:: 18:20

know i've talked about it before in this

:: 18:23

program if you're new to the program i'll

:: 18:24

tell you this my heart's desire is to

:: 18:27

do god's good and perfect will that's

:: 18:29

nothing new because i just told you that

:: 18:32

but i want to go out and i

:: 18:34

want to speak publicly on stage to reach

:: 18:38

and connect and to build the kingdom of

:: 18:41

god i want to go out and talk

:: 18:43

about leadership i want to go out and

:: 18:45

talk about connection i want to go out

:: 18:48

to places

:: 18:49

and speak.

:: 18:51

I believe that is my calling along with

:: 18:52

this podcast.

:: 18:55

The thing is,

:: 18:56

is that I didn't believe I could be

:: 18:58

influential because I'm not wealthy.

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I don't have millions of dollars in the

:: 19:04

bank.

:: 19:06

I have tried and true

:: 19:09

A tried-and-true relationship that's been

:: 19:11

battle-tested with my wife that I would

:: 19:13

argue is so much stronger than money,

:: 19:17

but I can't write a relationship check and

:: 19:19

pay the power bill.

:: 19:21

And I was tying credibility to wealth,

:: 19:26

one of those things that we –

:: 19:29

do all too often and look i do

:: 19:31

i want wealth i'm going to do my

:: 19:33

best to earn wealth because i believe

:: 19:35

wealth gives you influence and then you

:: 19:37

can do great works on behalf of the

:: 19:42

kingdom of god but there's also another

:: 19:44

reason that i'm going to earn wealth i

:: 19:47

have two children that are dependent upon

:: 19:51

me and genie and once we pass they're

:: 19:55

going to need care

:: 19:57

And that care is expensive.

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And they're both moderate to severe

:: 20:04

autistic children.

:: 20:06

They're adults now,

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but they're going to need – so it's

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incumbent upon me to make sure that their

:: 20:12

future is secure until their time on this

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earth is over and they move to the

:: 20:18

next life.

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I can't do that with what I'm making

:: 20:22

now.

:: 20:23

So if I go out and exercise and

:: 20:26

put the work in,

:: 20:27

then I can start to build this business.

:: 20:32

I can start to build this organization

:: 20:35

that Jeannie and I are working on so

:: 20:37

that we can go out and share what

:: 20:39

we've learned and exchange that time for

:: 20:44

money.

:: 20:47

So with that being said,

:: 20:50

I don't have millions of dollars in the

:: 20:52

bank.

:: 20:53

And I was talking to my cousin Shane

:: 20:55

and my cousin Michelle,

:: 20:57

and we were talking about why I didn't

:: 21:00

feel confident,

:: 21:01

like why I had no credibility because I

:: 21:03

was tying credibility to money.

:: 21:07

Now,

:: 21:08

I'm not out there speaking about building

:: 21:09

wealth.

:: 21:09

I'm speaking about building relationships.

:: 21:12

I'm speaking about building leadership

:: 21:14

with you in your home and with your

:: 21:16

family.

:: 21:17

And the next day,

:: 21:20

Michelle called and left me a voicemail.

:: 21:21

I just wasn't able to talk because I

:: 21:23

was in a meeting.

:: 21:23

I called her back.

:: 21:25

And this profoundly changed my life,

:: 21:27

and this was transformative.

:: 21:29

And I believe Jesus really taught Michelle

:: 21:34

something,

:: 21:35

and she was kind enough to teach that

:: 21:37

to me, and it was this.

:: 21:40

She said, Hey, Quincy, what if Jesus –

:: 21:45

relied on his pocketbook for credibility

:: 21:49

before he started his ministry.

:: 21:52

And it wrecked me.

:: 21:54

It absolutely wrecked me.

:: 21:57

I can't remember if I laughed first or

:: 21:59

if I cried first,

:: 22:00

or maybe it was both at the same

:: 22:02

time.

:: 22:04

But I said, you know what?

:: 22:06

That is so true, Lord.

:: 22:08

And Lord, who sent you?

:: 22:12

And who backed you to make your message?

:: 22:17

So who sends me?

:: 22:21

And because I believe he is sending me,

:: 22:23

he is orchestrating these things.

:: 22:25

He is providing these opportunities for me

:: 22:28

to go and to speak to you both

:: 22:30

through this podcast and out in public.

:: 22:35

My heart is to deliver his message to

:: 22:37

you.

:: 22:40

And it set me free.

:: 22:45

And it wrecked me for about two weeks.

:: 22:49

It was one of the most transformational

:: 22:51

moments of my life to know that my

:: 22:53

credibility does not have to be tied to

:: 22:57

money,

:: 22:57

but my credibility can be ordained by Him

:: 23:00

who sent me.

:: 23:02

And what I am telling you,

:: 23:03

what I teach you,

:: 23:05

what I endeavor to go and speak to

:: 23:07

you is testimonial.

:: 23:11

Testimony on the sense that I bled for

:: 23:13

this.

:: 23:13

This is what I have lived.

:: 23:15

This is what I have learned over the

:: 23:18

course of sixteen or more years.

:: 23:20

And I'm coming to you to deliver that

:: 23:23

to you to say it's not about what

:: 23:25

you can't do.

:: 23:27

It's about what you're willing to do.

:: 23:29

And if you're willing to start the

:: 23:31

journey.

:: 23:38

It changed my life.

:: 23:41

This entire endeavor has changed my life.

:: 23:46

Through transformation,

:: 23:47

we reconcile the lies in our past.

:: 23:51

We reconcile our limiting beliefs.

:: 23:54

We resolve our resentments,

:: 23:57

and we become the man we promised that

:: 23:59

we would be.

:: 24:02

This is the true opportunity that

:: 24:04

transformation presents to us in the body.

:: 24:09

in the mind, in the soul,

:: 24:12

in the spirit.

:: 24:14

I had to stand in front of a

:: 24:15

room of my peers with that declaration

:: 24:19

statement at the end of that living life

:: 24:22

by design.

:: 24:25

And I had to say it over and

:: 24:27

over again until the entire room of people

:: 24:30

believed that I meant it.

:: 24:35

And I believed it.

:: 24:36

Before I could see it,

:: 24:38

I believed it because I had come to

:: 24:42

understand that who I was is not who

:: 24:45

I had to be,

:: 24:47

that I didn't have to be defined by

:: 24:48

my past.

:: 24:50

That could actually be reconciled.

:: 24:52

And then I could go and I could

:: 24:56

make the biggest impact where it mattered

:: 24:58

most, and that was under my own roof.

:: 25:03

And that's what I'm here to lead you

:: 25:05

in and what I'm here to teach you

:: 25:06

in.

:: 25:08

And what I'm asking you to have the

:: 25:11

courage to believe in.

:: 25:15

It's possible.

:: 25:17

Transformation is possible.

:: 25:22

As I roll this one up,

:: 25:26

if you don't know Jesus Christ,

:: 25:28

I want to offer you the opportunity to

:: 25:31

invite Him into your life.

:: 25:33

Whether you've ever read the Bible or you

:: 25:35

haven't,

:: 25:39

Here's what the Bible tells us in Romans

:: 25:42

ten nine.

:: 25:42

I'll paraphrase it.

:: 25:44

It says,

:: 25:46

if you confess with your mouth that Jesus

:: 25:49

is Lord and you believe that he was

:: 25:52

raised from the dead.

:: 25:55

Then you will have your salvation.

:: 25:58

So I invite you to confess that wherever

:: 26:01

you are.

:: 26:04

And to believe that in your heart,

:: 26:06

even though you haven't seen it yet.

:: 26:10

And then we will take this journey

:: 26:13

together.

:: 26:15

Because transformation,

:: 26:17

I'm telling you from experience,

:: 26:20

it's the game changer.

:: 26:22

There is nothing like it.

:: 26:24

God bless you.

:: 26:26

Thank you very much for being here.

:: 26:29

I want to thank my dogs for barking

:: 26:31

like crazy.

:: 26:34

I want to invite you to email me.

:: 26:36

Quincy.

:: 26:38

at mvspodcast.com.

:: 26:45

Thank you so much.

:: 26:47

Until the next time,

:: 26:48

my name is Quincy Moran.

:: 26:51

This is Man Vs. Marriage, the podcast.