We had a real crash and burn moment over the last month, not exactly something new in our relationship less frequent maybe. In the last two episodes we told you what we went through. What we should’ve done versus what we did and how we agreed to make changes, so it doesn’t happen again. Here, in the playbook, we give you the tools and used to up our game and keep our home team on a winning streak.
1. Talk to your spouse. Life changes. This pandemic has everyone going through things, but life is always sneaking up on us. Overwhelming us. Funerals, hospital stays, births, jobs, etc. When changes come CHECK IN WITH EACH OTHER.
A. Where are you with this? How are you emotionally? What are your concerns, your hopes? How can I help? What do you need from me in this situation? Define your roles.
2. Renegotiate your non-negotiables. If things have changed and your non-negotiables are being pushed top the side (ours was a weekend away every month and we haven’t had ANY time away or alone since this whole pandemic thing screwed us all) make a plan to “bend” your rules and make sure you/your spouse’s needs aren’t being neglected
3. Have a backup plan! Someone you both trust to keep your secrets, but allow you to vent about things if you need to. Somewhere that your spouse won’t feel threatened by you speaking to this person. It has to be a neutral person BUT you must tell your spouse WHY you are going to talk to them and then discuss things together once you’ve cleared your head.
4. DON’T EXCEPT FINE OR OK. If you see the signs and she’s saying “fine” or “ok” but you see it’s not true, CALL BS. Address it. Whatever your buzz words are, use them. Don’t let your spouse shut down.
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